What does it mean to heal?
What is healing? Does healing mean being cured or the absence of disease? Does it mean to be a percentage point better than yesterday?
Author Rachel Hollis says in her book, Girl, Wash Your Face; “You and only you, are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are.” My reaction to hearing this (I have the audio book) even though I know it to be true was FEAR. This is the same reaction I had when I started to heal or feel better. Why was I afraid of healing? Didn’t I want to heal? Didn’t I want to feel better? Or was I just tired of being sick? If I didn’t feel well my heath (disease) was to blame. My ex used to tell people that I had a headache when he wanted to get out of a social engagement. Sickness was the new norm and I had become an excuse.
Change is hard. Change is scary. What if I start to feel better and then slide back into sickness again? Am I a loser because I can’t get better? Keeping a positive attitude is tough. Healing can be an uphill climb, sometimes it’s a maze and sometimes I feel like I’m drowning. Healing from an autoimmune disease isn’t like healing from a cold or broken bone. When I was a kid I would stay home from school for a couple of days, take medicine, rest, watch TV and be as good as new. I knew there would be an end to this virus and I could go back to school. Autoimmune disease is all those things I previously mentioned and then some. It is a long road.
I had chronic migraines, chronic pain and chronic stress. I could barely get out of bed and get my kids to school. When I did get them to school I’d come home and go back to bed again. I had to make all of my appointments for the afternoon. I couldn’t do anything in the morning due to my chronic pain and headaches. I’m not cured but I’m healing. I’m better than I was 15 years ago. This is how I measure my healing by looking at this big picture. How do you measure your’s?
Yours in health,